killing Johnny's card

I think I might use this photo inside my new CD. I have no idea who the guy in the front is. Hope he doesn't get pissed. If you look closely, Anne (who is a beautiful woman to begin with) looks like Sade. So cool.
So, it looks like my friend Adam D. will be mastering my CD. Which will hopefully be sooner than later. I am thrilled to have his gifted ears. I couldn't really afford to go to the guy that I thought I was going to use. Looked like it was going to cost 1,300 bucks. I asked Joel if Adam would be interested and he said "Of course! And he'd do it for 13 beers." I don't know if that's true or not, but I'll find out. I have tons of respect for the talent that Adam has. He's the Ken Mauri of metal. The man can do it all.
Also from the yes-this-goddamn-record-is-going-to-come-out-after-all department; I was recently granted permission to use Henry Darger's work (for a small fee) for my CD art for "The Killing Card". I am beyond thrilled with this development. His work is unsettling, anxious, cryptic, childish and beautiful. I think that I tried to capture all the former adjectives with my new record so I feel it's a perfect match. Anyway, the date inches closer and closer.
J Johnson of Designfarm (and probably more notably from National Carpet) is going to help me along with the layout and manipulations of the CD artwork. Free of charge, as well. Such an amazing, supportive guy.
And please, I beg you Red Sox fans. Don't be mad at Johnny Damon. It's all about the money and location (mostly money) for every single person in the MLB now. When Cal Ripken hung it up he also ended an era. Here, let me help you understand. Who said this?
"Baseball isn't what it used to be. It's all about the money now. No one plays because they love the game solely, it's all about revenue."
It was fucking Ty Cobb. In 1910. So let it go. Oh, and think of this way. Now that Johnny's gone maybe his legion of 14 year old girls in pink Damon shirts are gone too. Making it easier for people like me (poor but obsessed) to get tickets to a game that aren't either in the last row of the bleachers or 150 dollars apiece.

I leave you with the track listing of "The Killing Card." Why? Why not.

1) home.
2) The pressure it feeds
3) Everyone is gone
4) Torture ground
5) The combing of the bottom of the sea.
6) The drugs have shaped the angles.
7) Jesus Christ, man down.
8) The whisper no one else can hear.
9) Unbecoming (1992-94)
10) Island of the burning trees.
11) Forever every evening
12) Elephant's glide
13) Firefly parade
14) Stamp and release
15) Medicine you sent
16) You are just like me. You will never be free.

The record is dedicated to Brox.

5 in 5

Here's my 5 for '05:

Music
Lightning Bolt - Hypermagic Mountain
Lou Barlow - Emoh
Rogue Wave - Descended Like Vultures
Winterpills - s/t
System Of A Down - Mezmerize

Movies
Batman Begins
Cinderella Man
Grizzly Man
Broken Flowers
Fever Pitch (Yes, I am a sucker)

5 things I loved about 2005
1) The San Antonio Spurs winning their 3rd Championship in 7 years. In a league filled with prima donnas and egocentric morons the Spurs handle themselves with class, dignity and respect. They also play team oriented basketball. Which is a rare (larry)bird in the NBA these days.
2) Dear friends (and AMAZING human beings) Killswitch Engage and Shadows Fall have had HUGE success this year. Here's to many more. They are proof positive that the age old adage of "nice guys finish last" is a crock of shit.
3) The Red Sox championship trophy came to the Brass Cat. In case you missed it, click here.
4) I won the WRSI singer/songwriter competition and I finished my second record, which should be out early in the new year.
5) Jen and I made it through another year of very long hours together and hope to continue doing so for years for our baby.

5 things I hated about 2005
1) Bands that put out records that sound exactly like an old band. White Stripes = Led Zeppelin/Aerosmith. Arcade Fire = Talking Heads. And bands that put out records where every song sounds like a different old band. My Morning Jacket. Modest Mouse. My advice for these folks. Crawl into a closet with your guitar, take a New York Times front page with you. Eat an entire bucket of paint with a spoon. Read the whole page of the paper and then write a song about it. You all must purge the notions of derivation. The saddest part about this is that there are people surrounding these bands (producers, walking wallets, engineers, friends, peers) standing around patting them on the back. Oblivious. Or knowing and not letting on for hopes of fattening their bank accounts. Sickening.
2) R. Kelly's video/movie thingy. Sorry Matthew, I understand why you enjoy this. It is really easy to laugh at and make fun of but the reality is that this is passing as the biggest thing to happen to R+B since James Brown. When a musical style has hit its collective head on the ceiling you would think that it would be the most likely time to look out for ground breaking talent. Someone who rethinks the whole genre or takes inspiration from as of yet untapped sources. What happens here, though? This idiot makes music into a soap opera for soccer moms. I can't tell you how much it sickens me that this thing is a huge hit. Marvin Gaye (who changed the dynamic of R+B in the 60's by singing songs about the horror of war) is spinning in his grave. And for good reason.
3) Our presidential cabinet keeps insisting on killing our poor (as in "impoverished") kids in a foreign land (that doesn't want us there and poses no threat to us) so the rich can get richer off the blood oil of that nations soil. Bile inducing. Sadly, this will probably be on my list for years to come.
4) The passing of Brox. The dog that was synonymous with the Brass Cat. Sleep well, dear friend. I am less of a man without you.
5) I can only think of those 4 things. I guess that's a good sign for 2006.

Happy holidays all.

Shadows Fall and Killswitch Engage at Night Owl

Not nearly long enough, sir.

A sad day. Richard Pryor past yesterday. First things first. Richard Prior was fucking hilarious. Truly. His facial expressions. His wit. His fearless deliveries. Any film he made with Gene Wilder. An amazing man born to entertain. Crippled by MS. Tortured by his drug-abusing past, Richard left us far too soon. 65 years. Not nearly long enough for this man who helped change the shape of comedy. He was fearless and undeturred. Calling his fellow men "niggers." Shocking his predominantly black audiences. Straying from the constant bureaucratic push of the men in suits that wanted him to be the next Cosby regurgetation. He challenged political avenues at every crossing. Pushed the boundaries of preconceived biases. During one show, after the return from his first ever trip to Africa, he decided to go on a rant about how often it is that he uses the word "nigger" in his show. Quoting Muhammad Ali he continues "...there is a dignity in their poverty that we don't have. That's what makes them so much stronger than us. As of this day...I will NEVER (pauses while beginning to sob)...use the word "nigger" again." So moving. To watch this perfectly successful (at that point, he was on top of the world) man embrace his own ethical developments in front of 3,000 people (and a video taped performance) was something that was, and is, unheard of. The definition of bravery. Muhammad Ali and Richard Pryor. Two of the most important men in American history. He will be be spoken of as a troubled comedic genius in the major media markets. He was so much more.
Not nearly long enough, sir. Not nearly long enough.

I’m no better than you, and you no better than I.

I won the WRSI singer/songwriter competition. I’ve barely ever won anything. Some baseball awards and a hundred bucks on Keno once. Oh, and a hundred bucks on a scratch ticket from my parents one Christmas. The prizes I received for winning this are a Martin LX1. Which is a cool, travel size mini-guitar. I like the way it sounds. Maybe I’ll put a pickup in it and play it live sometime. I also won some recording time at Signature Sounds Studios. 10 hours. That’s great. I already have a song in mind to do there. Maybe it will be available on a split 7” with someone. Sometime. Who knows? I also won a portable PA. Hands down the most important part of all the prizes that were rewarded to me. I haven’t picked it up yet. When I do, it will serve as a permanent system for our in-store performances at Night Owl and also as a rehearsal PA. I used to lug the PA from the Brass Cat back and forth every Saturday night. I played on Johnny Memphis’ show yesterday afternoon. That was fun. I played “Ghosting” because the River has been playing it constantly from what I hear. This all means so much to me. I’m shocked and most certainly pretty embarrassed about the whole thing. I’m completely grateful to Marty for talking me into joining. And equally thankful towards those of you who judged this thing. I had a great time playing with Alex, Brendan, Eric and Kyle. All great writers.


I am most certainly no better than any of the aforementioned folks. Music is subjective. Completely. You know, dancing about architecture. Everyone reserves his/her right to like/dislike anything that they wish. I personally didn’t think I had a remote shot of winning. Why? I thought that the River would be looking for someone who was a little more straight-forward pop/country songwriter. You know, someone who fit (what I thought was) their style. I rarely listen to radio. So when I put on the River last week I was thrilled to hear them playing some great contemporary bands like Rogue Wave, Sigur Ros, Spottiswood, Lou Barlow, Nada Surf etc. That made me nervous. Oh God I thought maybe I do fit. I still didn’t think I would win though. Truly. I was shocked to receive the phone call from those guys telling me I had won.

I would like to clear the air on a few things too. This was a competition. Yep. There were several rounds and one winner picked. I have never, and never will, see music as a sport. I’m a big sports fan. I find it hard to even talk about both in the same night. They’re two very different visceral and electric beings. I’ve never once played a single note thinking that I was going to “blow someone off the stage” (a phrase I’ve heard from tons of people of the years that still makes me cringe). I’ve never felt I was better than anyone else in any musical way. I can play guitar pretty well. I can’t do simple math in my head. I can reach the things on the high shelves in people’s homes for them. I can’t cook very well. I’ve just recently learned how to sing. I can’t fly an airplane (or even get on one). I can throw a baseball pretty hard and accurately. I can’t do anything that requires building and/or fixing anything with my hands. I can play bass, piano, drums and a small handful of other things. I can’t dance. At all.

What I guess I’m saying is, don’t we all have lists like this? Do any of the things on them make us any better than anyone else? Of course not. I think it’s a great brevity meter. It should allow us to acknowledge ourselves as imperfect. It should also allow us to harness our abilities and accept them for exactly what they truly are. Trivial. I’m no better than you, and you no better than I.

So I won. I won because there were a handful of people that were judges that evening that just happened to like my music. I never changed myself at all during the course of this competition. I still took my dog for a walk every morning. Busted my ass all day long and played music that night for a group of sweetly attentive people. Same notes that I play when I play at the flywheel. Same words as when I play at some bar. Same in-between song banter as always. I will never sacrifice my integrity for personal betterment. I will never sell out. Music means too much to me to do that. To anyone brave enough to think I would do so I would appreciate them telling me that to my face. So I could fucking drop them. I will never change what I do and how I do it. What I think or why I think it. Who I am and why. Never.