anything you need

Went to see Grizzly Man last night. Fascinating. I feel like I have quite a bit in common with Mr. Treadwell. The constant struggle of trying to find what balances you. Getting lost in the beauty and the horror of connection. Searching. Constantly searching. Openly lost and scattered. He had an unbridled passion for staying close to what he found most wondrous. You can also feel his overpowering ties to his failed past. Living side by side with these animals was his penance. It gave his life meaning.


Was he met with challenges? Of course. There most certainly seemed to be a bipolar-like static coursing within but he chose the higher road to keep it from enveloping him. His child-like passion will be discarded by many critics. His heated anger towards the government will be seen as leftist ramblings by most. I am not one of those people. I saw a man who was once lost, lifeless and failing. I saw a man who searched for (and partially found) that which he believed would make him complete. The challenges that come from reaching that pinnacle must be immense. Just letting go of the search itself must confuse and overwhelm. It must be even worse when you find that this perfect emotional haven is still flawed and unfair. Sadly, I think this crippled him. Skewed his ability to decipher love from ambivalence. He wanted more. Maybe too much. Massive shifts in emotion must feel like tidal waves during this synapse search and rescue. But make no mistake, his reactions were passionate, elemental and pure. I truly believe that Mr. Treadwell loved those creatures as much as he said he did. Imperfect peace. How many people that you know could ever say that they've reached that plateau? How many of you have an even remote shot of making that climb? How many of you have even started? Rest well, Tim.


Received a letter today. It's typewritten on the back of a paper bag. It's from a friend who just moved far away. It starts with "...". I love that. The feeling of being alive in someone else's world before any writing begins. I just wanted to share one line.
"I numb the instinct of protection. Keep my head up, heart open and mouth wide with words."
You're right Sheri, this is most certainly just the beginning...


There was a tag sale sign lying in the mud next to a sewer grate near our house. The sale was 2 days prior to me finding it. It read "Tag Sale: All money goes to help Katrina victims". It was written in heavy crayon. The author; a child. A ten year old selling his toys for strangers in need while our government sits on its hands and makes excuses. I don't know if I've ever been painted a more bitterly sweet picture.


Is there a heavy handed moral here? I don't know. Do you need anything that you have? Maybe that's not the question. Maybe it's, do you have anything you truly need?