Please click this link below for all of my future blog posts. And for my newest record on orange vinyl and all digital formats (coming very soon on CD and Cassette). Basically, all info from here on in will be running through our friends at Jack London Records.
Thanks so much, as always
xo
This is the first song on my forthcoming record "Everything Around Me". You can listen to it and/or buy it by clicking here
Above is the album cover. It is a photo I took of the Amherst Cinemas in Amherst, MA. More on that soon.
I plan to talk more than normal about the entire project, but for now, I wanted to focus on just this song.
I've been writing songs for this record since early 2016. I was once again recording with my dearest friend, Mr. Joel Stroetzel. We had a plethora of 75%-ers that were coming to fruition when I decided to make an attempt at building a home studio. The original intent was to blend the songs that I had recorded at home with the songs Joel and I were doing in his studio. It became apparent, rather quickly, that there was a message being sent through the songs at home that was demanding sole attention.
I started recording at home just after the turn of this year. I was immediately re-enamored with manipulating sound. I experimented with numerous field recordings, loops, filters, and envelopes. I also took quite a bit of time with midi and sound sampling because I had been listening to nothing but minimalist traditional music. Lots of single note french horns, oboe, cello. Arvo Part, Ryuichi Sakamoto, some Ravel. I was aware of all of the bleed of traffic through my window in Easthampton, MA. It works in stark contrast to the concept of hermetically sealed orchestral environments of the music I was spending so much time with. I tried to utilize the dichotomy. I enjoyed recording the sound of rolling tires kicking rain as much as I enjoyed recording overly compressed whispered vocals. The album opener is called The Monastery On The Hill. It contains samples of other aborted songs, field recordings of the film The Revenant, strange synth loops, screamed and exhausted vocals. Ebow-ed guitars, stereo drums misaligned, no bass, ruined input levels, out of pitch melodies, editing mistakes, demos of my friend Sheri Hupfer singing ghost melodies that weren't intended for this song, contrapuntal on top of contrapuntal keys and guitars.
It's a mess.
And so am I.
I wrote this over the course of 3 months. The last 3 months of my mother's life.
It started as a story inspired by a building that I've always loved. The monastery in West Springfield, MA - on Rt 5. Set bucolically on a rolling hill of green, only barely separated from the disaster of contemporary American decay. A tire shop sits at its foothill. To my knowledge, my mother never stepped in there. Nor have I. It is as mystical and magical now as it would've been when I was a child out with my mom, in the late '70s, on the way to Zayre to buy fabric and action figures. A place that either housed dragons from my coloring books, or some Star Wars castaways that made a colossal galaxial error in a coordinate entry and landed feet from the Donut Dip. Or a place that offered a respite from the incessant motion. A place with oil painted cement basements that stored old pews that I could crawl underneath and feel a way that I couldn't anywhere else. Safe from all of the monsters, thanks to my mom.
But there were no monsters.
It wasn't until much later in my life that I realized what I felt wasn't a pause from some undefinable unsafe elements. That thing I felt was much more simple. More palatable. That thing I felt was innocence. An innocence that I experienced while eating Halls cough drops in a very real cement church basement in Agawam - where I listened to my mom sing in the choir upstairs. The pulse of the organ distantly violent against the walls.
The monastery in West Springfield is allowing me to return to that time. To return to her. To write about what might or might not be happening. To write about not knowing what to do. To write about something.
Anything.
To find her.
I thank you, from the deepest part of myself, for reading and listening.
Sheri Hupfer & I are thrilled to announce our new band to you all. We hope you'll take a moment to look/listen.
all questions, comments, shares etc are more than welcome
sheri showed great patience during the photo shoot. here she is patiently awaiting makeup.
you need a bit of patience too. shortly, you'll know our band name too
xo
photo from luthier's coop in easthampton, ma sometime in 2017(?)
thanks to all for your continued support. happy valentine's day to those that love, and are loved. in a very unrelated thematic way i plan on releasing 3 new songs very soon. sheri and i are also shooting photos tomorrow (with my wife behind the lens), and maybe tracking some song(s). there are also pending projects that include further photo shoots/videos/split 7" with friends beth & adam; and a music video for a as of yet unreleased song entitled 'firefighters' with the widely talented Piper Preston. here are the titles of the 3 aforementioned forthcoming songs (think cure vs immobilizing drug use vs depression topography).
murder suicide
you won't even know i'm here
first rogue to the sea
looking for potential house show/listening room venues for our new duo for 2nd week of april through the end of may.
pittsburgh, detroit, cincinnati, louisville, ann arbor, cleveland, chicago, upstate ny, nyc, boston, portland (maine), providence, philadelphia, washington dc, baltimore - and anything in that general oblong area.
help?
you can message me - that would probably be easiest.
thanks!
in need of band names. water themes seem to be calling. taking literary suggestions.
swervedriver - future ruins
violents & monica martin - awake and pretty much sober
pinegrove - skylight
better oblivion community center - s/t
ryuichi sakamoto - revenant
monica martin - thoughtless & cruel (singles)
you?
DISCLAIMER : THIS WAS WRITTEN IN 2014
If only.
If only there were a way to convict them. Their desolate patterns. Collectively. A way to keep their glaring eyes at bay.
Their structured void, so convincing. Scientific, even. Their theories proven; time and listless time again. These beasts without form, impossible to nail down.
Shadow cancers.
These empty cars crashes. Steel and rubber. Careening and crucified. Their desolate patterns.
Shadow snowflakes.
No one else can see them. They are governed by chaos. Egalitarian schisms. They can pillage and fuck and cower, and leave us none the wiser.
Just lay low and await their next transmission. We can't win the battle, nor the war.
We can allow the lamb its day with the lion.
Allow blood it's blanket.
Allow suffering
Hello,
It's been too long. I wish I was better at staying present with this site. In return, however, I've never done a better job at being present in real life. I still struggle and fumble with it, but there's a marked upgrade from the time when I used to write here with frequency. My distance from this, and from social media, has proven to work towards the betterment of my overall health. Unplugging and whatnot. It really does work, for me. I wish I could partake in many things in life, that most can, but I'm afraid that I must embrace my neurological limitations. In order for my soul to survive I need to always take an objective look at where I'm spending my time. Like I said, I fail often, but not as regularly as I used to - and when I do I find that the process of recovering is much shorter and more focused. Basically, after 45 years, I'm slowly starting to learn how to treat myself kindly. For any of you that had/have scorn towards me, I can only promise you that that scorn was multiplied by 10 due to my penchant towards rather brutal self-flagellation. I only hope to one day make peace with all of you, so we may move forward without what can be seen most probably as only the lightest of baggage.
I've made some pretty radical changes over the last 5 years. I still do work, daily, to live in a world that allows me freedom from addiction. I even quit smoking just over 2 years ago. However, I've also found myself feeling my age for the first time. I have a chronically pitiful stomach, aches and strains, weight gain, and ever looming anxiety & depression. In direct dichotomy I'm employed in a rather Utopian community that allows me to use music as a means towards holistic healing. My wife and I both work together, and have busted our collective asses to garner as much freedom as possible. We revel in daily affection, tenderness, self-care, and humor - all while submerging ourselves in our respective art forms. All these curses hold no ground against the strength of the unquantifiable graces that have been bestowed upon us. We all suffer, and we all have the ability to walk through it. Please know you can reach out to me at any time if you (or anyone close to you) need(s) any help with this process.
I am planning on checking in on here more often. I've said this before, and I'm prepared to fail. I'm fine with that. But in the event that I achieve this I want you to know that these ramblings will be just that. Rolling. Some will have intent (it's nearly impossible to promote unrepresented music/art/writing/events these days without the shiny box - so I will most certainly be talking about my life in the arts and recovery), some will be poetic musings, some will be aimless journaling, and all of it will be authentic.
I will be recording another record this year, to be released this year. And it may not be just one record. I am currently in the beginning phases of building a home studio and plan on releasing works from that. I also plan to perform with others, and may be involved in some exciting projects. There's travel in the future (quite a bit of it, I hope/think), and some new projects in the field of recovery as well.
I can't thank you enough for staying with me for all these years. Through all this abject horror, and all of this immobilizing beauty.
You can listen to every song I've ever released by CLICKING HERE.
You can follow my wife's breathtaking artistry by CLICKING HERE
As always, any and all shares/purchases are so greatly appreciated, and none of them are lost on me.
In solidarity,
M
Hi all!
White Flood is finally available by clicking HERE. It's only $9.99. It was recorded by Joel Stroetzel of Killswitch Engage over the course of the last 3 years. We are very proud of it. If you share and/or purchase this, I am forever thankful, as I truly can't do it without you!
xoxo
Another new song, from my forthcoming record. CLICK HERE to listen or buy. xoxo (photo by Ada Langford)
